When Aliences Shatter
by LoyalTheorist
Summary: Sequel to When Statues Crumble. Dipper and Mabel arrive in Gravity Falls for a third summer. Bill is very human, and one mistake too many causes a...problem*. *'Problem' is putting it mildly.
1. Bill Mason Cipher, signing in

Bill Cipher was ecstatic. Today was the very first day of summer, which ment the Pines twins (generation two) would be arriving in Gravity Falls today. Why did that matter to him? Mabel Pines was one of the Pines twins, and Mabel was Bill's favorite person in the world. Bill was half-certain Mabel Pines was the favorite person of everyone she had ever met. Well, not everyone, of course, but at least most people. If one were to think about it, they would realize Bill and Mabel weren't all that different from one another. They were both eccentric nutzoids with a flair for the dramatic, after all.

Nutzoids indeed. Bill was laying in the middle of the road, waiting for the bus from Piedmont, California to show up and give him a good reason to get out of the road.

 _"If Juniper were to see this, I would be in so much trouble right now."_ Bill thought mischievously, his eyes gleaming playfully in the midday sun.

Then he heard voices. Not loud voices, but he heard them. He got up and walked over onto the grass.

Sure enough, his sister and Pines twins (generation one) emerged from the woods a minute later. Unfortunately for Bill, they were on the other side of the road. Takinos, he was going to be in sooo much trouble if Dipper and Mabel didn't show up soon.

Then came the rumbling. Of a bus coming down an infrequently used road. To Bill it sounded more like freedom and a chance to spend an entire summer with Mabel Pines, sprinkle eater, sticker lover, and glitter maiac.

Then the bus stopped, they got off, and yes, he did not squeal.

Okay, maybe he did squeal.

Just a little.

Well, actually, it was a lot of squealing.

Shut up! It's not my fault! Human emotions are stupid! And yes, I was talking about myself in the third person, thank you very much.

Why? Because I'm Bill Cipher. If you're still asking questions, then obviously we haven't met. Hello! Now goodbye. Nobody likes you, strange person who knows nothing of the glorious being I like to call myself.

Are you still here? Good. That means you're aware of the glorious being I like to call myself...and how I'm not really all that glorious. Truth be told, I'm less glorious than most.

But that's beside the point! The point being? Mabel was back, baby! (She said so herself.)

Dipper (of course) was being just as annoying and logical as always. It's his eyes I hate really. Yes, I know that, in theory, Dipper's eyes shouldn't look any different from Mabel's eyes, but while Mabel's eyes are full of hugs and sunshine and rainbows, Dipper's eyes are full of PIERCING DEATH.

A word to the wise: piercing death is always bad.

Always.

No exceptions.

Okay, my eyes are full of piercing death sometimes, and I'm not _all_ bad. Just mostly.

Well, I suppose Dipper's not all bad either.

Don't tell him I said that. If you do, I will hunt you down and make sure you die a very painful death.

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes. The other side of the road.

It was a very nice side of the road. I'm not sure why I didn't go there more often. I would have considered it the nicest side of the road, but, 1. Mabel wasn't over here, and 2. That might hurt the other side of the road's feelings. I'm nothing if not considerate of the feelings of roadsides.

So I walked over to the other side of the road. No, it was not particularly exciting.

Mabel squealed when she saw me. This was not a thing she did only when she saw me. Mabel squealed when she saw everyone else, too. I know this because Mabel's squeals are loud. Loud enough to be heard on the other side of the road.

It appears human beings squeal when they see other human beings that they like and haven't seen in a while.

I'll have to make note of this.

Then Mabel hugged me.

"You have a hat now." Dipper said.

It was true. I did have a hat now. It was an I'm-sorry-we-have-to-make-you-go-to-school-for-legal-reasons-please-don't-burn-the-house-down-with-your-pyrokenesis hat. It was a very nice hat. But...really, Dipper?

You see me and the first thing you notice is that I have a hat now?

Not that I got a haircut during the winter?

I mean, it has grown out considerably.

You probably wouldn't even know.

Haha!

I know something Dipper doesn't!

Well, I know a lot of things Dipper doesn't.

For instance, apples from dimension 34 taste like honey. They're sold all over the multiverse for huge sums of money.

Oh hey, that rymed!

-Bill Mason Cipher, Signing out.

 **Tada! There it is! Is Bill okay? He seema okay to me, but to you he could seem totally off.**

 **-LoyalTheorist**


	2. Gold

**Okay, so before you block this page and burn your computer after the first word in correlation to the first/second sentence keep reading. Please.**

Hot. That was the first thing I thought when I saw Mabel. I mean, it was like, ninety degrees out, and she was wearing a sweater. She must have been burning up in there.

Nonetheless, she retained her cheery demenor.

"Bill! Hi!" She said, then turned to Dipper. "Dipper! You're supposed to at least say hi to somebody before pointing out their fabulous hats!"

"Aww, Shooting Star, you make me blush!" I said, making a big deal of turning away from Mabel and waving my hand at her playfully.

She giggled too long for it to be natural and flipped her hair.

"I am quite the charmer."

"You two are weird." Dipper said.

Mabel stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're fun, too."

"You're just agreeing with him. Don't you know that fun and weird are synonyms, Shooting Star?" I said, and she giggled, for real this time.

Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." he mumbled.

I'm suprised. I didn't expect him to back down.

Sixer (whom I've been living with for almost a year, and still doesn't like me) hugs both twins and I realized they're both taller by a few inches. They're still at least an inch away from average though, because they were both _really_ short.

As we walked back, I realized that Mabel had been trying to avoid eye contact with me, and wondered why. My eyes were a normal shade of blue. At least, I thought blue was a normal color for eyes to be. Blue _was_ a normal eye color, right? Sixer and Stan both had blue eyes. Was that from prolonged exposure to Gravity Falls weirdness? I'd have to ask. Later. Right now I just pushed it into the back of my mind and continued my argument with Mabel about how Sour Patch Kids were better then gummy worms (because they are).

"Here's Mmmmmmmabel!" Mabel shrieked as she threw open the doors to the shack.

"You don't actually know what that's from, do you?" I asked her.

"Nope!" She replied.

"Well, it's from a-," I began, but Sixer gave me a look. Then he looked away. Apperently _nobody_ wanted to make eye contact with me today.

I finally found out why this was when I went to make sure my eyes were still blue.

Lo and behold, big shocker here, Takinos that's freaky, they were not. Seemingly overnight, my eyes had switched from blue to gold, and it was a little creepy. They now matched my hair, which had gradually turned from "blonde" to "looking like I have literal strands of gold for hair". You wouldn't be able to tell if you had been seeing me every day for the past year, but if you were to look at a picture of me last summer, and then look at a picture of me now, it'd be obvious.

I wasn't sure why this was happening. I'm ninety-eight percent certain that if I had my old knowledge I would, but I don't. Human brains can't hold millions of years of experience without going insane, so I can't even remember half of what I used to know. I still know a lot, mind you, but there is a reason I'm a C+ student.

Okay, so the reason is because I don't really care. Also, when I'm at school it's like my brain is going "memory full" all the time. It might help if I took notes, but that would mean making an effort, and I assure you, that is the last thing I want to do. I just stole Juniper's notes most of the time.

On the bright side, school is a good place to make friends. I made a geand total of two friends at school, and they're great. Mabel would like them. Dipper probably wouldn't though. I know for a fact Juniper doesn't like them.

Juniper has a strange taste in people though, so to me that means nothing.

I helped the Pines twins get the attic set up for them to sleep in for the rest of the day. We talked about stuff like how dumb school is (funnily enough, Dipper agreed with Mabel and I's thought that school should be banned everywhere) and how weird Gravity Falls is and how annoying gnomes are.

Then there was sleep and oblivion and nightmares.

-Bill Mason Cipher, signing out.


	3. Juniper Preseves Mabel's Innocence

It was Monday. I love summer Mondays. Well, I think I love summer Mondays. I haven't really gone out of my way to figure out how I feel about summer Mondays, but at least I think I love summer Mondays.

Beauiful, glorious summer Mondays.

Why do I love summer Mondays?

Well, you see...

The day began as most of my days began all year: wake up, shower, breakfast. It should probably be noted here that my fragile human body was not completely capable of drinking Mabel juice due to the excess amount of plastic dinosaurs contained in it. Note to self: must ask Mabel how she does magic, even though human beings shouldn't be capable of it. I mean, the waffles Mabel makes are so scarily good, there's no way she isn't using magic!

More to the point: after breakfast, Stan made Dipper, Mabel, and me all go work in the Mystery Shack, and I used my master manipulatory skills to trick loads of dumb tourists into buying stuff. Really, all I had to do was pretend I was just like them, like I'd bought the stuff the last time I came to the Shack and that it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Question Mark does not approve of my trickery, but I still do it when he's not around. In a week there'll be an extra person to worry about: Question Mark's girlfriend. She is, admittedly, not terrible looking. Yes, I may have been a tad bit too impressed with him. (I was previously unaware he was capable of getting angry. I swear, I have apoligized. He's giving me the silent treatment.)

Nothing new there, either. No, the new part came when we all stopped working to take a break outside for lunch. That was when Regan and Malvolio showed up. They were walking though the grass towards the Mystery Shack, but then they stopped to argue about something. What, I had no idea. They were too far away for me to hear them. What I did know was that this would take a while. Regan and Malvolio are my best friends in the universe, but they fight quite a bit.

My Ice Queen looked up from her sandwich and frowned.

"Bill, are you friends with...them?" She asked,

"Yeah. They're great!"

"They're the bad kind of weird, Bill. They're _sick._ "

Mabel hugged me.

"Ohmigosh, Biiiiiill! You made friends!?"

I cross my arms over my chest and stick out my chin.

"Yes, yes I did."

"Sick." Wendy repeated. "If they're out here, I'm inside." True to her word, she got up and left immediately.

Mabel stopped hugging me and raised an eyebrow.

"Are they psychos?"

"No! They're Mavolio and Regan, and, like I said, they're great!"

"Bill, could you define 'great' for me?"

I took Dipper's glasses off his face (which, in hindsight, was a very bad idea) and put them on my face.

"Of an extent, amount, or intensity considerably above the normal or average."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Of ability, quality, or eminence considerably above the normal or average?"

"In your own words!"

"Au mi soc aoihk? Devp, A'b rok wmypbmkth, tyel koow ktim cmcl syqwiliek qvu'n ekz qe ks vv, dyikc'x ik? M kbpzskt M'lc lsce ds vd xhrx. Zly, S'q ac e mfsv mob evbmtkmfn hyvjxflv xzpnqw lwet Z'zw koxi, qdy wrrl ao risg? Xhvvw dac euiyacpq vno xabi I syjuen e epr acmnl axh odylur'l sed lab hiv, efk I zvgqebcc kooepvc'x hrzw aovh qdy tyel, iud M vxh aecohy, ism'gi wvpuvmo Wlpv."

Juniper stared at me.

"You horrible, horrible person." She said.

"What'd he say?" Mabel asked.

 _"Takinos! Don't tell her...Don't tell her...,"_ I thought.

"I can tell you with utmost sincerity that you do not want to know." Said Juniper.

 _"Praise the Axolotl! My sister has spared the innocence of a child!"_

Mabel appeared to contemplate that response.

"Okay. I can handle that." She said finally.

I put Dipper's glasses back on his face. He had been trying to get them off of my face, but because I am tall and he is short, he couldn't reach them. I may have laughed at that a little.

A lot. I laughed at that a lot.

Oh, shut up. He's Dipper. I fake-hate him, and he fake-hates me.

It's something of a truce.

"Hey! Demon!" Called Regan.

My friends had arrived.

-Bill Mason Cipher, signing out.


	4. Malvolio is a Bigot and Regan Pretends

"Who are these kids?" Asked Malvolio, half pompously glaring at me. "Your cousins?"

"No. this is Mabel, and this is Dipper. They-," Regan cut me off.

"Are booooring? Come on, demon, let's get out of here."

Dipper gave Mabel a look like "anyone who still calls him demon can't be good". Mabel, however, missed this. She was already glaring daggers at Regan.

"Hey!" She objected. "I am super duper the interesting! I knit my own sweaters!"

It was here that Mabel got on the table and threw her arms to the sides, showing off today's sweater. It was baby blue and had a bunny wearing glasses on it. Over top of the bunny, the word "Adorkable" flashed different colors, because Mabel can't have a normal sweater, no, every single one of them had to be different in its own different ways. Or, at least, that's what Mabel told me when I asked. I liked that idea. Malvolio, apparently, did not, because he rolled his eyes.

"Listen, sweetie." He said. "Sweaters in general are a bad idea, but sweaters in the summer? You just took a bad thing and made it worse. Plus, anyone who has time to waste on _knitting_ can't have anything else to do. Especially not if you're making things like...that." He gestured to her sweater and mimed gagging.

Regan and Malvolio don't like new people. Regan and Malvolio _hate_ new people. It's kind of their entire shtick. This, though, was uncalled for. Like, Dipper and Mabel were hanging out with me, right? So, they must be cool. At least a little bit. Interesting, at least, because I hate boring people. It's kind of my entire shtick.

"Hey, I happen to think Mabel's sweaters are super cool."

"Why?"

"It's Mabel wearing them. Mabel's the best."

"King Lear and Twelfth Night." Dipper mumbled.

We all looked at him.

"What?" Asked Mabel.

Dipper slank down. If he were any lower, he'd have been inderneath the picnic table.

"Listen, demon, if you're too busy with your friends to hang with us, that's fine by me. Just come by when you're ready to be cool again." Then Regan and Malvolio turned and left.

I take it back.

I'm not all that fond of summer Mondays.

* * *

"Bill, you are offically banned from Mabelland." Mabel said.

"I created Mabelland. You can't ban me." I objected, stacking snowglobes on top of each other in such a way that if a customer wanted to take one down and look at it, the rest would fall and break and they would have to pay for those too. This, though another tactic Mabel disproved of, was what Stan had told me to do.

"That was Mabelland 1.0. This is Mabelland 2.0. It's new and improved and created by me, so I can totally ban you."

"Mmmm." I nodded. This seemed like perfectly sound logic to me. "Why exactly am I banned?"

"Because you made friends with people who are capable of resisting my total cuteness! It's, like, a rule of life that people like that are jerks. Plus, Dipper was uncomfortable around them, and," she glanced around. Little Pine Tree was on the other side of the gift shop, talking to my Ice Queen. "He's super socially awkward, but he has good instincts." She glanced at me. "Don't tell him I said that."

"You know, if you were anybody else, I would have just walked over and told him." I told her.

"I know." She said.

"You know?" I asked.

"I know." She said.

"How?" I asked.

"You're pretty easy to read. The expression on your face was like "If she doesn't tell me not to tell Dipper she said this, I'm totally telling Dipper she said this.""

Ouch.

Ouch.

That hurt.

That hurt a lot.

If there's one thing I hate more than cucumbers (like, let's be honest here, we all know that cucumbers are just wasted pickle material) it's being told things like that. That I'm easy to read. That I'm predictable. I don't want to be like the cretures from my home dimension. Not even a little bit. These beings would take the same number of steps every day. They would say the same number of words every day. It was all the same, again and again and again and again.

-Bill Mason Cipher, signing out.


	5. Here We Go

This is the point, dear reader, where I have to start telling you things you may not want to hear.

Things that I, frankly, don't want to tell you.

Yet I do.

What's wrong with me?

I'm trapped, you know.

They're forcing me to have my life flash before my eyes.

You know what scares me?

I'm almost out of story to tell.

You know what they say.

So you know what that means?

I'm about to die.

So, here I am, right now. Strapped to a rather uncomfortable chair, telling my life story to a bunch of people-no, they aren't people-beings I don't know.

They're asking questions.

How did I get here?

Why did I break in?

Who am I, really?

The only problem is that I don't know the answers.

Bill Mason Cipher, Signing out.

* * *

Mabel Stella Pines, signing in.

Dispite how I might seem, there are a lot of things I hate.

Whaaaaaat? You're thinking. Mabel Pines, one of the most splendorifical people ever, is capable of hating things?

Then I say "Yes. Yes she is."

Bill Cipher is offically being re-added to the list of things I hate with a passion.

So, if I ever see him again, I'm going to get emotional. Because hate is an emotion. I will slap him in his stupid face. His stupid, stupid, running-back-into-burning-buildings-to-save-innocent-civilians, stupid face.

I'll also tell him how stupid his face is, because he has a stupid face. In fact, he has one of the stupidest faces I've ever seen. With his stupid freckles and stupid stupidity.

I think maybe the negativity dimension is affecting my thoughts.

Mabel Stella Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing in.

If you had told me last year that Bill Cipher would risk his own life to save another's, I wouldn't have belived you.

If you had told me two months ago that Bill Cipher would risk his own life to save another's, I wouldn't have belived you.

If you had told me last week that Bill Cipher would risk his own life to save another's, I wouldn't have belived you.

If you had told me yesterday that Bill Cipher would risk his own life to save another's, I wouldn't have belived you.

If you had told me an hour ago Bill Cipher would risk his own life to save another's, I wouldn't have belived you.

Firstly, let me just say that, I gotta give it to the guy, he can run fast. He's very skinny, I'll bet that helps. Mabel's angry at him, and not without reason. Not only did he nearly die, but he also disobeyed a direct order from her.

Honestly, though, Mabel's a little at fault here too. We all know Bill isn't exactly one to follow the rules. Sure, he's less arrogant, impulsive, and bigheaded than he'd like everyone to think he is, but he's still decidedly very reckless.

I'm only worried because now we're lost in the multiverse, and I-oh no.

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mabel Stella Pines, signing in.

I just don't get it.

Mabel Stella Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing in.

He can't be here.

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mabel Stella Pines, signing in.

I can't belive it.

Mabel Stella Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing in.

He's dead.

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing out.

* * *

Bill Mason Cipher, signing in.

Dying hurts.

I, personally, do not reccomend it.

You know, this would be much better if I knew why the heck I was dead.

Because, as of now, I have no stinking idea.

I'm dead.

That's hillarious.

It hurts.

I'm all alone.

Wait! I'm not dead!

Probably.

Unless Shooting Star and Pine Tree are dead too.

I hope they're not.

Shooting Star looks worried.

Is this because of the hole in my stomach?

It doesn't hurt anymore.

At least, I think it doesn't.

I can't tell.

They're gone.

Where did they go?

Is it because I'm dying?

I'm not dead.

Not quite.

I'm alone again.

Oh!

Hello.

Who are you?

Oh, right.

I rember you.

I don't remember much, but I remember you.

What a terrible waste of memory.

You monster.

 **Well, there you go, Bill's dying. But why? But how? All good questions. Oh, and who is this mystery person?**

 **Adios,**

 **-LoyalTheorist.**


	6. Not Dead

_"Hello, Olyxian."_

 _"It's Bill."_

 _"When you're with me? I think not. Don't be a fool, Diverend, did you really think I would just let you forget the stupid little Drakon you once were?"_

 _"That'd be nice, you Armarnin."_

 _"Langauge, child. A mere boy should not say such words."_

 _"Good thing I'm not a mere boy then. Why are you here?"_

 _"Why do you think? I told you I'd always be here for you."_

 _"I don't want that. I stopped wanting that a long time ago."_

 _"Really? Good. It's my job to create misery. It was your job too, but then you had to leave it all for some puny humans who would have died in what would seem like the blink of an eye to you. You don't really care about them, and you know it. It's somewhere. Buried deep in the back of your head, so you can keep up this pointless charade."_

 _"I do care. Now GET. OUT._ _"_

Everthing was blurry. I couldn't see properly. What I could make out made no sense. I expected the afterlife to be much worse for me. I'd always been told I'd receive justice upon death, and for what I did, this did not look a lot like justice. There was an oven in the corner, probably. It looked like it was from around the sixteen hundreds on Earth, but I couldn't be sure, with it looking like someone was trying to focus my eyes and failing horribly.

I suppose I'll have to rely on my other senses.

There's a constant crunching from outside the room. It makes my head hurt.

I can hear a fire burning. A big fire, with lots of snaping and crackling and popping.

It smells like the pie Mabel made on-wait. Mabel made a pie? I didn't know that. I focus on it. What else do I know about this pie?

It was raspberry pie, with brown sugar on top.

We had it after dinner. Mabel had two peices, because she made it. Mine had whipped cream. I liked that.

It was very nice pie. I think. Was it?

The memory is gone. I know I remembered something.

I'm just not sure what.

I'll have to write the things I remember down.

That'll work.

That has to work.

Bill-Takinos, what was my middle name again? Oh, right.

Bill Mason Cipher, signing out.

* * *

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing in.

It was a miracle that they found us before Bill died. I don't know how they did it-they've quite the mixture of technology and magic here-but they say he'll live. Mabel screamed when she saw him. The hole through his stomach was very decidedly not pretty. Then there was the blood. There was blood everywhere, and he wasn't really breathing.

Someone had heard Mabel scream, because suddenly, they were all around us. They-well, this part is something of a blur-but somehow they got the three of us back to their camp. They also calmed down Mabel, who was kicking andscreaming and fighting. She had sat by his side for a while, while he talked to himself. It was like there was somebody else inside his head that he was talking to, Mabel said.

They had called themselves the resistence. They wouldn't tell us what they were resisting, which was...unsetling, to say the least. I knew we had to get that information out of them as soon as possible. That, or we had to get out of there as soon as possible. If they were resisting Bill, we had to avoid telling them who he was. When asked, Mabel had called him Lear. She had called herself Viola and me Sebastian. Stupid Shakespeare class. Twelfth Night and King Lear. That made sense, because those were Mabel's favorite plays we'd read. Viola and Sebastian made some sense, given that we were twins, but I don't get why she'd name Bill Lear.

The resistance had given us beds to sleep in. They were lined up like hospital beds, with five on each wall and separated by curtains. There were two other humans (At least, they both looked human) in the room. A boy, wearing a red hoodie, and a girl with blonde hair and heart stickers on her cheeks. Mabel lie down and was asleep in an instant. She usually does that when I'm not bugging her, plus we were both sleep deprived and haven't seen a bed in weeks. Then got in bed, and I guess I fell asleep too.

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing out.


	7. But I Might Be Soon

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Absolute silence never came in places like these.

I had learned that lesson the hard way.

 _"Go on. It's simple. Find them. Kill them. Quick. Easy. Nobody will ever know if you hide the bodies well enough."_

"Shut up. I'm not killing Pine Tree and Shooting Star. I'm looking for them so that we can get the heck out of dodge."

 _"You know what would be fun? Raiding the kitchen. You're starving."_

"I'm not starving. I'm just a little hungry. Now shut up."

 _"Oh, and there are knives in the kitchen, so you can kill the brats."_

"I said it once, but I'm going to say it again, because I don't think you're getting it. I. Am. Not. Killing. Dipper and Mabel. Okay?"

 _"No."_

"Too bad."

So, he was back. My "friend", Alkin, also known as the Spirit of Pure Elemental Chaos. I wonder when this happened. I promise you, I do not know. With the obvious exception of the first two days, all of what's happened thus far this summer-or perhaps summer is already over, like I said, I have to idea-has just vanished from my memory.

After another good twenty minutes of walking, I find a door marked "Human Sleeping Quarters".

I assume Pine Tree and Shooting Star are in there.

I'll be confused if they're in the "Ginour Sleeping Quarters.

The last time I checked, Dipper and Mabel were human.

Of course, that could have been literal years ago.

Oh, wait, probably not, I'm wearing my sweater vest.

I like my sweater vest.

It is a very nice sweater vest.

If you insult my sweater vest, you _will_ die, promises to myself to refrain from murder or not.

Oh, right, I was telling you what was happening. Talking. Right. Of course. Ahem.

I opened the door.

Indeed, there they were!

So they are still human.

If I ever regain my powers, I will have to fix that.

Humans are fragile little things, and I'd like Mabel to keep me company during my exile from nearly half the multiverse.

I'll have to bring Dipper too, because Mabel wouldn't come destroy the world without her twin.

I don't have a twin, but I do have a sibling, and those two's affection for each other is really quite odd.

Can somebody please explain this to me?

 _"Is that Star Butterfly? Oooh, and Marco Diaz, too! They have prices on their heads in the multiverse, you know. You could kill them now, in their sleep, then burn the bodies so that nobody gets the reward money. Also so that everyone in some dimension will constantly be in fear of these two coming back!"_

If there is one thing I hate, it is Alkin.

Normally, I would refer to Alkin as a he, but I'm just...so...done with it right now, I don't think that would be suitable.

Stupid Alkin.

He was always in my head before, and he drove me half insane.

He is, quute literally, chaos, so he's always prompting me to do things that'd cause it.

Kill Dipper and Mabel, for instance.

I shake Mabel awake.

"Star?"

"It's too early. Go back to bed, Dipper." She mumbled, rolling onto her face. "Ish meh job teh beh ahn mrning prsin."

"It's Bill."

 _"Olyxian."_

"Bill." I correct him.

Mabel sits up.

"Bill!" She squeals, then she hugs me so tightly I begin to wonder if I'll ever breathe again. "I thought-,"

"Quiet." I shush her. "We need to get out of here, ASAP."

"Okay." She whispers. "I'll wake up prince sleepyhead and-wait. Why are we being quiet? Why are we sneaking away? How do I know you're the real Bill?"

"Axolotl and Takinos, Star, where are these questions coming from?"

She's out of bed in half a second, and suddenly there's a Kyzon blaster pointed at my face.

l have no idea where she got one of those, but I don't want to die, so I raise my hands over my head, something I've seen humans do in shows when a gun is pointing at them.

I'm not completely certain what it's supposed to mean, but I assume Mabel will recognize it, and not fire that thing.

Bill Mason Cipher, signing off for what is hopfully not the last time.


	8. Dipper Talks in Paragraphs

My hands are shaking. I hope he can't see my hands are shaking.

"You." I say, answering the question he asked me before.

"Shut up!" He hisses under his breath, but not at me. "Listen, Mabel-,"

"No. I said, _who are you_?"

"I don't remember anything past the second day of summer, you _have_ to belive me!"

I lower my blaster.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Do the thing with the fire in your hands."

"That's awfully flimsy evidence. There are quite a few species who are able to do that without magic. Then there's the ones with magic and-,"

"Do it."

He does it, and it's sky blue, just the way he told me and Dipper it could only be if it were him.

"Happy?"

"Yes. Let us wake up the Dipdop!"

"Shh,"

"Okay, okay."

Mabel Stella Pines, signing out.

* * *

Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing in.

"And remember, Nobody loves you! Chairs have feelings too! The entire multiverse is a simulation! Thank you! GoodBye!"

At this point, I belive that it is safe to assume that Bill gets some sort of strange joy out of screaming nonsense at beings he doesn't know. First it was "Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!" And then, in my book "Nostradamus was a hack! Morality is a mental cage designed by the weak! How's Annie? Byyeeeeeeeeee!" Then, when he was trying to save the inhabitants of dimension 1634 "It isn't a wizard! Frogs and toads are one in the same! You've been a great audience! Goodnight!"

I'm not completely certain where he gets all this ridiculousness, and I'm not even going to ask, because, frankly, I don't think I want to know. I feel as though it would interfere with my main goal of remaining alive and sane.

Let's rewind.

* * *

"Hey! Lord Dippingsauce!"

I awoke to the sound of my twin sister's voice. It had two weeks (fourteen days) since we both had arrived in Gravity Falls, yet she was just as excited as she had been our first day back. Bill, weirdo that he was, was sleeping in the rafters of the attic.

"Bill!" Mabel shouts up at him.

He's awake, and, naturally, jumps. Also naurally, he falls. Of course, given I had left Mabel to be my alarm clock, it was way too early to actually go downstairs and make breakfast. Mabel and Bill knew this as well, and had begun talking in whispers on Mabel's bed. Bill was using a lot of hand gestures, but Bill has a tendency to do that. He caught me looking and gave me one of his signature creepy "I'm trying to be genuine but I don't know how to use my face" smiles. I glare at him, because he's a smug jerk, even though he and Mabel continue to try and convince us otherwise.

I lay back down and pull my blanket over my head. The attic smells like summer. It's warm and soft and before I know it, It's noon. Grunkle Stan is in the living room watching TV with a sandwich, and Mabel and Bill are in the kitchen eating sandwiches I assume they've made themselves, because Mabel's is composed of pixie stix and Captain Crunch, while Bill's has more pickles on it than any human being could even hope to consume safely. Great Uncle Ford is nowhere to be seen, but that's fairly normal. It's likely Mabel will go down and remind him that human being need sustenance to function in a moment.

"I made you a sandwich too." Bill says, waving one in the air.

"Is it full of rat poison?" I ask.

Bill feigns hurt. "No!"

Mabel turns in her chair to face me.

"I watched him make it. It's totally safe. Now excuse me while I go make 'Mabel's Guide to Not Being a Jerk' to show you later." She says.

I still don't know why she defends him. He literally tried to murder her last summer. Bill's smiling. He knows that Mabel is like a mediator (not really, Mabel is totally Campainer personality-wise) between us. If she takes his side, he wins.

"Are you going to eat this sandwich? Because if not, I can eat it." Bill says.

I sigh. "What's it got on it?"

"You'll just have to eat it and find out."

"Bill!"

"Worms. It has worms on it."

I stare at him.

"Normal sandwich stuff! Ham, cheese, slightly soggy lettuce."

"Give it here." I say.

He throws it at me, hard, and storms off.

-Mason Cerritulus Pines, signing out.

* * *

 **I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. Writer's block is a jerk. A fluff chapter for anyone who can tell me what Mabel's having pixie stix and Captain Crunch on her sandwich is a reference to.**

 **Toodles!**

 **LoyalTheorist**


	9. Ford is Confused Floof Owl

Stanley ugh-do I have to say my middle name? Yeah?- _Florence_ Pines, signing in.

Ya'know, there are a lot of things I wanted do in my life. Like, I dunno, hang out with my nerdy twin. Ya'know what I _didn't_ wanna do in my life? Travel through dimensions. I could totally go without the dimension travel. Less dimension travel would have been great. Because if I hadn't done any dimension travel, I wouldn't be locked in a cage with the previously mentioned nerdy twin brother.

"I'm sorry, Stanley. This is all my fault." Ford says, and he sounds genuine.

This is supposed to be the part where I go 'oh, Ford, it wasn't your fault. It was my fault for not listening to you and going out into the streets not wearing one of your weird metal collar things.' But I don't really feel like being all kind and noble and hero-ish and whatever right now.

Hero-ish. Is that even a word? Meh, who cares? I look over at Ford. He's sitting on the floor, and apperently the floor's real interesting, because he's looking down at it. He isn't sitting up straight like he normally does. In short, He looks sad. He also looks like an owl. A floofy owl. A weird floofy owl. Yeah, that's my big brother for ya.

Juniper, or as I like to think of her, Freaky Tree Girl, is across from us. She's still out cold. She's a brave kid. Sure, she's kinda scary, and also kinda supid, but at least she's brave...I guess.

I sit down next to Ford.

"Listen, Sixer. This ain't your faut. It's my fault."

"No! I could have done more, I _should have_ done more. It was my job to keep us safe, and now...we aren't! I just-,"

"Now you shut up right now, old man. You're doing your thing again."

"What thing? I don't do a thing."

"Yeah, you kinda do."

"No, I do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do too."

"Do not-wait. What? What did you do?"

I'm laughing. Ford's just so gullible it's hard not to.

"Well, I'm glad you agree with me, Sixer. Now, you can't take all the credit for getting us trapped here."

"What?"

"I helped too. Now listen up. I've been in jail before. I have a plan."

Stanley Florence Pines, signing out.

* * *

Bill Mason Cipher, signing in.

"Soo...where are we and why?" I ask. I've been walking with Pine Tree and Shooting Star for what feels like hours.

Even that's not really with them, though, because they've been walking in front and talking in whipers about who-knows what and left me with Alkin for company.

Suprise suprise, Alkin is not good company.

"Oh, right. So, on the fourteenth day of summer, we-,"

 _"Just say two weeks, dummy! It's not that hard!"_

"Shut up!"

The Mystery Twins frown.

"What?" Mabel asks, and Dipper raises an eyebrow.

"Nothing. It's not you. Keep going."

I mentally throw some choice words at Alkin.

He does not listen.

No.

Ha! Alkin? Listen?

No.

Instead he starts rambling on about the last season of Ghost Harassers I watched with Dipper on The Used To Be About History Chanel. (BEST SEASON, by the way.)

I try to listen to Dipper, but it's impossible.

It sounds more like:

 _"-Grainy footage? Really, Grant? I mean...really?"_

"Then Mabel screamed-,"

"I did not scream!"

"Yes you did! So Mabel screamed, and then-,"

 _"Plus, you and I both know that's not what ghosts are like! And-"_

"So he-it? The...wolf-thing was only a few yards away, and we all ran. That's when Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford, and Juniper."

 _"So then, like, did Grant get a new hat? He did lose his hat in that episode, didn't he?"_

I think you get the point.

Anyhow, the twins and Alkin both kept talking and eventually I gave up on trying to listen, until:

"-and you ran into save them, and shouted a whole lot of nonsense, so-,"

 _"Ah, yes. This part. You can remember this part."_

"Wait, what?"

 _"Besides, it's getting tiresome keeping all these memories back. Here."_

(Gosh, I really do black out a lot in this story, don't I?)

And then everything went black.

Bill Mason Cipher, signing out.

* * *

 **Oh, gosh! Two chapters in two days? From me? That's practically unheard of! Anyhow, as you can see, I've gotten no better at writing Stan. He's still waaaaay off from being in character.**

 **Reality is an illusion! The universe is a hologram! Buy gold! Bye!**

 **-LoyalTheorist**


	10. Mabel Static Pines

Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bel *static* Pines, signing in.

It was the fourteenth day of summer, and *static* was lying on top of the picnic table- Bill does that sometimes, he's such a *static*. It can actually be kinda funny sometimes-times-times!

Dipper was sitting next to me, *static* like the giant _dork_ he is. I mean, has *static* -n him?

"He-e-e-e-e-e-y, Mabel! _Come_ look at th- *static*.

N' I rolled my eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes, 'cause, like I said, Bill's a weirdo. Yesterday we discovered that he *static*.

* * *

 _ **This ADCAR is corrupt, and cannot be recovered. It will be permanently erased. The ADC thanks you for your patience. Why don't you check out another, less corrupt, audio recording for only two Hallia? Have a nice day-The Alternate**_ **Dimens** **ions** _ **Corporation.**_

Mason Pines pounded his fist on the ADC issued ADCAR (Alternate Dimensions Corporation Audio Recording) dispenser. He'd spent every spare Hallia he had on trying to get this recording, and for what? A chance to listen to his sister's voice one last time? No, that couldn't be it, if that was it Mason would've just looked up Mabel Pines on the dispenser and had it over with. In fact, that was just what he'd done - at first.

Then Mason had found himself, and it had been strange listening to that younger version of himself. When he called Mabel too big-hearted or selfish or childish, Mason had wanted to scream, _scream_ at himself that Mabel was absolutely perfect and that he better hold on to her tight, because if he didn't then he wouldn't realize how much she ment to him before it was too late. Because Mabel had been his best friend. His best friend in the whole wide world, and if he lost her...

...if he lost her...

His voice had been serious, very serious, but not cold. Not like it was now. Not like it was now at all. Now it was serious and cold and analytical and unfeeling. Now he had occasional Bot Checks on him because he did the exact same thing every single day. Because his chocolate brown eyes were dead. Because the ADC was a place of rouine.

Then, after putting it off for so long, he listened to Bill's tapes. His voice had been playful. It had bewn serious. Bill could've been a storyteller, if he weren't so stubborn about everything having to be disorderly and chaotic all the time. He wouldn't have survived a day in Cqualkinnay.

The fourteenth day of their stay in Gravity Falls, the year 2014. It was important, but he didn't know why. He hadn't come back after what had happened in 2013.

* * *

Bill Cipher smirked knowingly. It had been two days since the three of them had been abducted, and Dipper was already starting to catch on to how things worked around here. And by here, he ment nowhere, because they weren't staying anywhere. Or maybe he did mean somewhere, and that somewhere was with him and Mabel. Or just with him, because Mabel certainly didn't get it. He'd expected her to, resourceful as she was, but he'd been wrong. She was too innocent for that.

Wait, was that a fire?

Burning hurts.

Bill didn't reccomend it.

Burning hurts a lot.

Bill really didn't reccomend it.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Pain.

Burning.

Fire.

Screaming.

Help?

Okay.

People.

Get the people.

People are important.

Because before there was ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Pain.

Burning.

Fire.

Screaming.

Help?

Okay.

Why was this happening?

No, really, why?

It wasn't like he ment to throw himself into life-threatening situations.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Pain.

Burning.

Fire.

Screaming.

Help?

Okay.

Dark.

Stories.

No pain.

No fire.

But he had a hole through his chest, didn't he?

* * *

"Bill?"

There was a voice, somewhere.

Somewhere in the background.

Or maybe it was the foreground.

Alkin seemed to have shut up for once.

Odd.

"Bill, wake up!"

Panic.

That's what he heard.

That was the sound of panic, right?"

He couldn't quite remember.

He couldn't seem to think straight.

So he did what he always did in such a situation.

He was Bill Mason Cipher, sworn enemy of Juniper Mabel Cipher, also known as Jheselbraum the Unswerving, the Oracle of the Axolotl. He was currently human, and had no idea where he was.

ci·pher

ˈsīfər/

 _noun_

noun: **cipher** ; plural noun: **ciphers** ; noun: **cypher** ; plural noun: **cyphers**

 **1**. A secret or disguised way of writing; a code.

"He was writing cryptic notes in a cipher"

Synonyms: code, secret writing, cryptograph, cryptogram "information in cipher"

A thing written in a cipher.

Synonyms: code, secret writing, cryptograph, cryptogram

 **2**. A zero; a figure 0.

Synonyms: zero, 0, nil, naught/nought

"A row of ciphers"

A person or thing of no importance, especially a person who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own.

A person or thing of no importance, especially a person who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own.

A person or thing of no importance, especially a person who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own.

He had no idea where he was.

That probably wasn't good.

He supposed he had to get up.

 **AHHH! Where the heck did March go?**

 **I could tell you the story that goes with the lateness of this chapter, but I won't, other than that ot had to be scrapped several times.**

 **I hope you like my story, dispite its...less than ideal...update times.**

 **Farewell,**

 **LoyalTheorist.**


	11. The Meeting

It didn't take long for Mason Pines to realize that something was wrong. It would never have taken anyone very long to realize something was wrong on Cqualkinnay. Of course, this was Cqualkinnay, so whatever thing was happening could be good. So he waited until he could finally see what it was. Then once he did, he started preparing his Dimensional Portal Device for useage.

He sighed.

Only Cqualkinnay people would have run away from three children, only two of which were currently even standing up.

* * *

Bill Cipher stood. He wouldn't call what he had just experienced a memory - it was more just a blur of colors and sounds and thoughts and emotions.

 _"Isn't that just life, though?"_

Oh, great. Alkin was back.

Ignoring him, Bill turned to Mabel.

"Where are we, Star?"

"Don't ask me. I don't know. Dipper, where are we?"

"Well, since you asked-,"

The three traveling companions spun around. Behind them, there stood a man.

His eyes flitted from side to side, as though he was scared something would jump out at him at any moment. One hand was stuck in his long curly brown hair. His expression was one of curiousity, but at the same time, knowing. He stood up straight and had a tendancy to switch onto standing on his toes, but then he would snap his feet down. He had skinny arms and skinny legs, and on his forehead there was a birthmark that looked like the big-

"Dipper!" Mabel squealed.

Yes. That.

"Indeed." Mason nodded. "But please, call me Mason."

"Why?"

"It's less confusing that way."

"So, where are we?" Dipper asked.

"Cqualkinnay."

Mabel gasped.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're choking."

"No. The name of this dimention is Cqualkinnay."

"You still sound like you're choking."

Bill dusted himself off.

"I think I've heard of this one - it's part of my sister's domain, right?"

Mason frowned.

"It was, until- no, that's best left for you to find out on your own. In the meanwhile, it'd be best if you didn't say her name."

"Until what?" Dipper asked.

"I'm pretty sure if I told you, the entire universe would begin to crumble in on itself...Though...you aren't really past me, that much is obvious. I-," He sighed. "I don't even know how much is different in our dimensions. I will say this - flesh and blood mean nothing in a world of puppeteers. The Emperor and the Lady aren't completely oblivious to their roles. In New Jersey a long time ago, a little boy hid his treasures in the floorboards."

They all just stared at him.

"What do you want from me? Even your mind has unexpected limits? Come on, we had best be going on our way now. It's a long way to my apartment."

* * *

Stanford Pines had only been thrown in prison thrice (he was awfully good at hiding) but that was three times too many. At least in his opinion. Stan stuck to his statement that everyone should spent one night in jail, as it 'built character'.

If that was true, Ford wasn't sure he liked his character all that much. They seemed awfully prideful and snappish. It didn't help that the last time he'd found himself in a cell, he'd discovered that the closest thing to a friend he'd had at that time called him a Wayward Kitten.

He had to applaud his brother's skill at lock-picking. Stanley had successfully freed both of them, plus their wooden companion, Juniper, who now only had nine fingers but otherwise looked fine.

They'd shot their way through a few security guards, stolen an escape pod, and were now orbiting around one of this dimension's moons.

Ford tinkered with their DPD, turning off some of the safety features so that they could travel through multiple dimensions at once.

Stan watched the controls of the ship as various lights blinked. Every few minutes he heard a beep. He had been instructed to tell Ford if anything changed.

In the corner Juniper had wrapped herself in a tarp she had found. She was curled up into a ball and already half-asleep.

It would have been kind of nice, had they not been fighting viciously a few hours earlier.


	12. The Stan Twins aren't Dead

Ford didn't know when he had drifted off, but he had never been able to wake up without going to sleep first, so one could assume he had. The overhead lights flashed blue and red.

"Come on, Poindexter, wake up! We have to do something, I just...ain't sure what."

Ford was still not completely alert, but he wasn't asleep anymore.

"Alright, calm down, I'm thinking. Wh-,"

The entire ship shuddered, and warning sirens began.

"Where is Juniper!?" Ford shouted, hoping to be able to be heard over the noise.

"I don't know! I woke up and she wasn't anywhere in sight!"

"Curse Takinos. Juniper?!"

The twins called to their woodland friend several times after this, and, hearing and seeing no sign of Juniper, concluded that she was gone. What other evidence did they have to come to this conclusion?

"My DPD has vanished!"

"Your what now?"

"Dimensional Portal Device, Stanley!"

"So we have no way out of here?"

"It- it appears not! We are...we're probably going to die!"

Stanley Pines ran a hand through his gray hair, and, in his last few moments spent in dimension 56k4, he called out to his brother.

"I love you! Even if I don't always say it, I want you to know that!"

"Oh, I know." Stanford Pines paused. "I love you too!"

"Idiot."

"Doofus."

And then the lights and the sounds stopped.

* * *

Day 14 of Summer #3 in Gravity Falls for The Pines Twins (Mabel and Mason)

Bill Cipher lie on top of the picnic table, staring up into the sky and naming things the clouds looked like.

"And that one is a song. That one over there is sadness. That over there is the feeling I get when I eat a pickle. That's art...,"

The list went on.

Mabel looked up with him, giggling when he said something paticularly funny. Dipper sat and read a book ( _A Study in Scarlet.)_ A few feet away, Waddles chased a butterfly.

Mabel almost didn't register when the ground next to the picnic table exploded and their peaceful day was disastrously interrupted.

Bill did, though, and he sat up immediately. His hands lit up, and his fire was too bright and too hot, like he was holding miniature suns. Mabel recognized his expression in an instant. Bill was _absolutely terrified._

The ground behind where Dipper had been standing had blown up, spraying him with dirt and rocks and causing him to leap away from that spot.

Stan, Ford and Juniper were all outside now, and an insect like creature with horns atop its head materialized. Ford inhaled sharply and froze.

It threw another bomb in Bill's direction, but he managed to scurry away just in time. The insect thing made a series of clicking noises that Mabel presumed was its language and threw another bomb, this one at Mabel.

Dipper screamed, lunged, and grabbed Mabel's wrist to pull her away just before it blew up.

Ford was still frozen, and -oh, wait, no he isn't, he has dissapeared into the shadows somewhere.

Someone shouted "run!" And suddenly, as if by magic, they were.

 **(One can naturally assume that they were not simply suddenly running-such things do not happen in any of the '/ dimensions. Such inacuracy is likely a result of the spotty memory of the subject (especially after exposure to the k chemical. Sincerest apologies-The ADC)**

There was a flash of white light, then everything around Dipper, Bill, and Mabel, who had all been traveling in the same direction, turned blue.

* * *

"I'm not dead." Stanford Pines didn't know where he was or how he had gotten there, but he wasn't dead-no. He could smell flowers, and he had a long cut on his arm, from, he guessed, the crashing of the ship. He couldn't see anything: his glasses had been removed and stored who-knows-where, but he had been in far worse situations.

"An astute observation." Said a voice. It was a female's voice, playful and full of sorrow at the same time. It was a high voice, almost too high for the age of...any adult. At least, he was fairly certain she was an adult. If the blur of color he judged to be her head was, in fact, her head, because he thought it looked gray. She was tall enough, too. "Oh!" She exclaimed, grapping something off of the bedside table. "You'll need these."

An object was dropped into Ford's lab, and a quick check of it revealed it to be his glasses. Slipping them on revealed that the woman was an adult. She grinned, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She wore a sweater, lime green mostly, but with maroon yarn along the edges. Her black flats clicked like tap shoes on the wooden floor. And-goshdarnit, was that a shooting star on her fez?

"You look less adorable," she said. "But you still look like you. And your hair is all fluffy. It's Mabel, by the way."


	13. How to Shut Up a Stanford Pines: Part 2!

It was jarring, seeing yourself, young and foolish and very far away because if you did happen to get to close to one another you and the entire dimension would be erased from existence. Ford contimplated this as his alternate self shouted questions at him from thrirty feet away.

"You're asking yourself questions." Mabel reminded him - not his Mabel, of course, but this dimension's Mabel. He had noticed that she had some of the same scars Stanley did. The jagged one down her left forearm. The cleaner semicircle around her ear. Upon thinking these thoughts, Ford marveled at his own ability to asses signs of damage. He was great, wasn't he?

"Oh, I know." He responded dismissively.

"You're not answering those questions."

"I am aware of that as well."

"I know you're really bad a picking up signals-,"

" _Thanks._ "

"You're welcome! So I feel as though I have to tell you that I'm not actually just informing you that I'm not just telling you that my great-nephew us trying to talk to you - I'm telling you to talk back to him."

"Funny."

"What?"

"I knew that too."

"Know it all."

"That's what I just said, isn't it?"

"Moses, you're even worse than Dipper."

"I'm aware. I feel obligated to ask, though - how did you manage to pull off the switch?"

"What switch?"

"I mean, you and Dipper aren't identical, and after the zodic failed-,"

"Wait, your circle thingy failed? Why?"

"Because Ford's an idiot!" Stan called from inside.

"You are not helping!" Ford called back. "It was just a basic correction of your grammar mistake! I-, "

"Hold on." Mabel interrupted. "Are you really going to stand there-,"

"I'm sitting."

"Shut up. Are you really going to _sit_ there and tell me the entire Bill-defeating plan didn't work because of your obsession with correcting grammar?"

"I- well- yes, I suppose that is what-,"

"What's more is that in your dimension my parents were willing to send me to live with a man who cares more about grammar than the fate of the universe?"

"Don't be ridiculous, I do not care more about grammar than the fate of the entire universe."

"Then why, exactly, could you not keep your mouth shut for a few more fu-dging- _fudging_ seconds?"

Ford paled.

* * *

Juniper destroyed. It was what she did. All it took was removing one worker from the equation. There was nothing that could be done, so The Axolotl would be-well, not happy, but not angry. Bill was dead, which ment the spirt of elemental chaos that resided inside of his body was also dead, so the Council was happy. And Juniper had all the power to herself, so Juniper was happy.

* * *

As soon as it happened, Mason took off running. He knew what was happening. His comrades did not, so when he shouted at them to run, he was met by apprehension and confusion.

That was, until the buildings started falling. It was then that all questions were pushed aside and the only thing that mattered was survival.

It was lucky, Mason lamented later to his new companion, that he had learned long ago that what a traveller really needs, a traveller keeps their person at all times.

They escaped Callaquinnay - barely. Mabel was in tears over all the people they hadn't been able to save. The massacre had been too much for Dipper, as well. He had gone completely silent. Bill, on the other hand, was far too loud. He was talking, and talking and talking, and eventually Mabel talked back. Then, sometime later, Dipper made a comment of his own. The three of them talked their way through the purple wooded trees of the dimention, and dispite everything that had been thrown at them, felt almost no fear.

 **Oh-Oh, jeez, has it really been that long since the last chapter? I am so sorry-my inspiration for this story has been fading away - not to worry, I won't just stop writing, I've seen authors do that before - but I am working on several other projects at the moment. This story will have more to it. I have everything planned out. It will probably take longer than I originally anticipated though.**

 **Apoligies,**

 **-LoyalTheorist**


	14. Chapter the Fourteenth

One Bill Cipher, one Mabel Pines, and two Dipper Pines - that was their little group in it's entirety. None were sure what monsters lurked in the pink-and-purple woods that surrounded them, but they didn't want to find out. That was precisely why Juniper was about to send one of its gigantic wolf-things at them. Then They would die and Juniper would have all the power. Or at least, that's what she had been told -The Council had lied to her before. But if she did get all of Bill's power, she would be safe. Safer than she had ever been. She would be doing what was best for Juniper, and that was never a bad thing. She had some connection to him, she remembered, but that was all she knew. They were both Ciphers - did that mean anything? No, probably not. Back to killing, then.

* * *

Bill had set the thing on fire. _Bill had set the thing on_ _fire._ It just didn't care.

 _"You do know that when you fight something, you're supposed to hurt it, right?"_

"Shut the fridge up, Alikin."

 _"You're really no help in this fight. Let's knock you out, shall we?"_

"Wh-,"

* * *

Crying. Mabel was crying. For a moment, Bill considered just asking why. Then he realized that there had to be nicer ways of figuring it out. Just asking was not going to help. So he sat down next to her.

"Mabel?"

"Sweatertown isn't accepting visitors right now! Go away!"

Bill stared at her.

"What do you mean, Sweater Town?"

Mabel poked her head out.

"I thought you said you were watching us all the time."

"Okay, so maybe not _all_ the time. Just most of the time. What you had for breakfast was not my concern."

Mabel giggled weakly.

"There was this guy-,"

" _Untermensch._ "

"What? What does that mean?"

"Subhuman creature in German. Guys are jerks."

"You're a guy."

"Your point being...?"

Mabel laughed for real this time. Rubbing her eyes, she said, "You aren't a jerk."

"Just because I'm great does not make me not a jerk."

"Sometimes you're very confusing."

"What else is new?"

"A guy dumped me, Bill. Not because of any crazy supernatural stuff, either. He said it was because I was too weird."

"That is the _stupidest_ reason I have ever heard."

"Yeah..." Then they just sat for a moment. "Do you think I'm adorable?"

"No."

"Oh." Another moment passed. "Is that because you're weren't actually human?"

"Based on the fact that everyone else thinks you're adorable? Probably."

"Okay."

"Really, though, why would you even ask me? I'm like, the single _worst_ person to ask."

"Because you're the only one in the room."

"That's a lie, and you know it."

"What do you mean?"

"You're also in the room, Star."

"I meant the only _other_ person in the room."

"But that's not what you said!"

"But it's what I meant."

"Why would you not say what you mean?"

"Why would _you_ not say what _you_ mean?"

"Because that would be lying, and lying is wrong. Come on, Star, this is like, human stuff 101."

"Sometimes humans lie."

"Yes, but those are the _bad_ humans."

"Sometimes I lie."

"Other than right now? Blasphemy."

"Like there was one time when I told Candy I really liked her dress, because she seemed to really like it, but I actually didn't."

"That doesn't make any sense. You're a good person. I know that."

"I'm a good person. I'm even a great person. But I'm not a perfect person."

"So what I'm getting is...lying is fine?"

"No!"

"Now you're being very confusing."

"Okay, I don't think you're an advanced enough student in human stuff for this lesson. Just...forget everything I just said."

"But-,"

"Put your buts away. You need more experience before you understand what I was saying."

"No! I can understand!"

"I don't think you can."

"You're the worst."

"You're the worst."

"That's a good point. Okay, you're the second worst."

"We could be tied."

"Tied for worst?"

"Yeah."

"Alright."

"Come with me. We're going to eat that entire box of ice cream in the freezer if it's the last thing we do."


End file.
